Grief
by xXUsEdXx
Summary: -Title subject to change-   Ciel remembers a friend.  CielxOC familial


_I wrote this for my last writing assignment in high school and I'm deciding to upload it. I was thinking of actually writing the prequel to this, but I don't know...we'll see how this goes. Sorry if either Ciel or Sebastian seem OOC. I wasn't planning on any of the usual awesomeness of Kuroshitsuji. Without furthur ado, enjoy._

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><p>Gray clouds were all to be seen across the sky as a cold chill bit the citizens of London. The sun did not grace the world with its warmth and, in a sick sort of way, Ciel Phantomhive considered the cold day as comforting. The young earl had glanced up at the sky in the cemetery before glancing at the object before him. His dark bangs had obscured the eye-patch over his left eye from view, his emotions as dark as his black suit that he wore for his aunt's funeral, and now for someone else's.<p>

Ciel, accompanied by his butler, Sebastian Michaelis, stood before a tombstone. His blue eye had a glint of grief, an emotion Sebastian has never seen on the young earl's stoic face. The boy was taciturn about the subject that plagued him, that had him wake up every night with a cry for a person who will never return, so the butler spoke first. "Is it that painful, young master?"

Ciel only stared on at the tombstone, either ignoring his butler or was too deep in thought to have heard what was said.

"Olivia would not be pleased, would she?" Sebastian tried again. "She'd be right upset for you holding in your pain, sir."

"I won't know how she'd felt about my actions, now would I?" Ciel broke his silence with a sharp reply. He didn't bother to spare his butler a glare to match the tone. "Besides," he continued more softly, monotonously, "Olivia Fae Novak is dead."

Sebastian's eyes narrowed almost into slits. "I've never heard you speak of Lady Olivia so callously before, master. You were so lively when she was alive. Happy, I daresay."

"She is dead because of me." Ciel ground out, bitterly. "My emotions have died with her."

"Have they?" inquired Sebastian, softly. "If you feel nothing now, why visit her grave? Why are you here?" He paused before continuing on. "You lost your parents, your aunt, had a close call of losing your betrothed-"

"Do _not_ remind me of what I've lost! Am I understood?" Ciel snapped the order viciously as he turned to glare at his butler with fire in his blue eye. Sebastian was taken aback. Ciel had never had an emotional outburst like this, nor has he had such a furious look etched onto his features. Sebastian nodded with a soft "Yes, my lord" to Ciel's order.

Ciel turned back to the tombstone, letting the sudden rage leave his small frame. He wanted nothing more than to beat his butler into a bloody pulp until all of these raging emotions left him, but the friend he is visiting abhorred violence. She would've been very disappointed as Sebastian said, and he was right. Ciel wouldn't admit it, though; so instead he focused on memories of his friend…

He remembered when he was around seven-years-old. That day, December fourteenth—his birthday—he met nine-year-old Olivia Fae Novak. Their fathers had handled business for the toy company and decided to let them get to know each other. Of course, Ciel was shy at meeting the dark-haired girl with bright green eyes. With her delicate physic, black hair down past her waist, and those sparkling green eyes, she looked rather pretty. "Hello," she had greeted in a voice like a dove's coo. "My name is Olivia. Olivia Fae. But you can call me "big sister"." She had held out her hand, smiling sweetly. Ciel had tentatively reached for her hand, holding it in his. He gave a small smile of his own. "My name is Ciel."

Ciel shut his eye as the memories flashed like a movie in his mind. They kept playing over and over and over, and there was no off switch…

"_You're my new little brother, Ciel!"_

"_Ashes, ashes, we all fall down~!"_

"_Don't be sad, Ciel. I'll be back. Big sister never breaks a promise."_

"_I heard what happened…"_

"_Ciel…"_

"Young master?" Ciel became aware of Sebastian putting a hand on his shoulder, concern in his eyes. Ciel realized he had been hyperventilating, that sweat was on his skin. The memories were beating at him so hard, he almost forgot where he was, why he was there. And then he truly remembered why the choking guilt within him that he tried to suppress rose up again. He was Queen Victoria's "watchdog" of the underworld, of corrupt nobility. He had enemies everywhere, enemies who would hurt the people he loved in order to hurt him. Because of his "duty" to Queen Victoria, his dearest, precious "sister" was taken from him, ripped from his life, leaving a gaping hole where the rest of his heart should have been. "I'm all right." Ciel whispered in such a soft voice that even Sebastian barely heard him. "I'm all right."

"Shall we leave, then, sir?" asked Sebastian with no emotion in his voice. Ciel heaved out a sigh as he closed his eye. "Yes. Let us return to the manor, Sebastian."

Sebastian bowed. "Yes, my lord."

Opening his eye, Ciel looked at the words on the tombstone:

_Olivia Fae Novak_

_1873-1888_

_A dear daughter, a loving sister, a sweet soul. May she find peace._

He knelt down, tracing the words with his index finger. "Rest in peace, sister." he murmured. Standing up, Ciel turned away and walked down the grassy mound, Sebastian in tow, and out of the cemetery.


End file.
